Essay 3 Workshop

Estela Bustamante

Lauren Servais

English 100

11 November 2010

I’m sorry

In occasions, forgiveness is what keeps a person from moving on with life; this was the case for Victor Joseph as the resentment that he felt for his father’s abandonment held him back from seeking a “better” life for him.  Forgiveness is not something that comes naturally for many of us; it takes a lot of work for people as stubborn and proud as Victor and me; whereas for others, like Thomas, it simply feels right to let the pass be the pass, and look up to the future.  However, forgiving other also has to do with forgiving the self first, which can be the hardest thing to do.

            It’s hard to forgive who causes pain to us or the ones we love; yet not forgiving also means not letting go of that pain and moving on with life. My grandmother blamed my grandfather for her misery till the day she died.  My grandfather, a soldier, stole my grandmother a couple weeks before her wedding with her fiancee, a man from a wealthy family just like hers.  Things were different back then, and a situation like that was extremely delicate.  My grandfather impregnated my grandmother and her parents forced her to get married to the poor soldier against her will.  They had 2 more children but she never love the father of his kids.  She was unhappy for the rest of her life. On the day of her death, my grandfather who had fell in love with her from the moment he had laid eyes on her till the last of his breath, asked her to forgive him for all the pain he’d caused her; there are a few different versions of what happened that day, but legend has it, she died denying him her absolution.  It’s understandable why my grandmother couldn’t forgive my grandfather; however, holding on to all the anger that she felt for her husband only made her more miserable.  They both procreated two sons and a daughter who they deeply adored, and even though, I’m not excusing my grandfather for his actions, I feel my grandmother would have left happy at last if she would had forgiven her partner for so many years.  Victor was able to forgive his father after a long abandonment; yet, just like my grandmother, his pain kept him from being happy for long time.

            Although, some people understand that the best way to continue on with their own life is to forgive those who have hurt you that doesn’t mean that forgiving would be any easier.  In occasions, one also has to forgive the self before forgiving others.  Victor thinking his father had left because of something he had done, and that kept him from forgiving Arnold; yet when he found out the true reason behind his disappearance, Victor was finally able to free himself and his father’s soul.  As Victor forgave his father, he liberated the grudge he had been carrying with for so long.